England manager update!

Following Steve McLaren getting the heave ho, I hereby wish to express my interest in taking over the reigns as national first team manager, citing my lengthy success in Championship Manager 2 as proof for me to be the best candidate for the role.

Jose Mourinho? Pah! He won the Premiership with vast wads of Russian readies at his disposal. Phil Scolari managed to win the World Cup with the best national team on the planet. I, however, managed to drag lowly Wolverhampton Wanderers up out of the Championship and to the top of the heap in the Premiership and total European domination for many consecutive seasons.

Stick that in your pipe and smoke it, Barwick. Now where do i sign?

Welcome to Bottleville – Population, 14

So then. I hope we’re all set for a summer of watching running, jumping and swimming? Because we sure as hell won’t have anything to shout about in the football department. And quite rightly so, we didn’t deserve a thing out of the most gutless, spineless qualifying campaign I have ever had the misfortune of suffering. Time after time after time our so called “World Class” players bottled it. The chips were down and they choked. (Ignore the fact that the chips should never have been down as we should have had qualification sealed before the end of the summer in this weak group).

The players are good enough, they just bottle it every time. Look at the first 5 minutes of the second half last night. We went at Croatia hammer and tongs with pride and desire and they looked like rabbits caught in the headlights of an articulated lorry. Once it started to hurt, once it started to get tough, they gave up. The desire and passion went and they bottled it. The only players who showed an overall commitment and desire to win that game was Peter Crouch and David Beckham. Yes, David Beckham, again, as usual.

So, where to from here? McClaren has been sacked this morning. Yes, he had to go. But the main culprit for our shambolic state of affairs over the last couple of years is still in office. If the FA had not been so impatient to install a manager, we’d have had a genuinely World Class manager in the shape of Phil Scolari or Guus Hiddink. Instead we get another Graham “Turnip” Taylor. After this nonsense, Brian Barwick has to step down. We need to put this very quickly behind us, and rebuild from the ground upwards ready for the 2010 World Cup qualifying campaign.